Supporting Others in Times of Change: Control vs. Leadership
Change is inevitable—but how we show up for others during it is a choice. Whether it’s a team restructuring, a personal crisis, or a cultural shift, people look to those around them for stability, clarity, and courage. The question is: What role do you play when the ground starts to shift? Are you trying to control the outcome—or are you leading through it?
Control vs. Leadership: A Behavioral Crossroads
When change hits, our behavioral style tends to default to one of two modes:
Control: Driven by fear, urgency, or the need for certainty. It often looks like micromanaging, over-directing, or trying to “fix” others.
Leadership: Rooted in trust, empathy, and vision. It’s about guiding, not gripping. Listening, not lecturing.
As Simon Sinek reminds us,
“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.”
What Support Looks Like in Practice
True support during change isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being a steady presence. Here’s how leadership-style support shows up:
Hold space, not solutions: Let others process without rushing them to a conclusion. As Brené Brown says,
“Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.”
Ask, don’t assume: Instead of telling someone what they need, ask: “What would be helpful right now?”
Model calm and clarity: Your emotional tone sets the temperature. Leadership means regulating your own reactions so others can find their footing.
Empower, don’t rescue: Support doesn’t mean doing it for them—it means reminding them they can.
Your Role: Mirror, Anchor, Guide
In times of change, your role isn’t to control the storm—it’s to be the lighthouse. You reflect back people’s strengths (mirror), stay grounded when things feel chaotic (anchor), and help them see the path forward (guide).
Leadership is a posture, not a position. It’s the choice to show up with courage, compassion, and curiosity—even when you’re unsure yourself
Final Thought
Change tests our instincts. But it also reveals our capacity to lead—not by force, but by presence. As John Maxwell puts it:
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
So when others are navigating change, ask yourself: Am I trying to control—or am I choosing to lead?
