Are You Getting What You Need? How to Advocate for Yourself at Work and in Life
In our last post, we asked: What’s holding you back?
Now we ask something just as important…
Are you getting what you need?
Whether you're in a leadership role, part of a growing team, or navigating a personal transition, this question is both simple and revealing.
Because if the answer is "no"…then it's time to dig deeper.
Is it a you thing… or a them thing?
The Honest Truth: It’s Usually Both
Before we point fingers or place blame, we have to get curious.
Are you clearly asking for what you need?
Have you communicated your boundaries, or just assumed people should know?
Are you expecting others to read your mind or “just get it”?
At the same time:
Are others consistently ignoring or dismissing your requests?
Is your workplace or environment set up to support your success?
Are you surrounded by people who respect your time, energy, and growth?
The dynamic is often shared. But what you can control is how you show up.
That’s where assertiveness, boundaries, and agency come in.
Assertiveness Isn’t Aggression—It’s Clarity
Too often, people, especially those who are collaborative and kind, shy away from assertiveness because they don’t want to seem difficult. But being assertive doesn’t mean being rude or pushy. It means being clear, direct, and respectful about your needs.
Assertiveness says:
"This isn’t working for me—can we find a better way?"
"I need more time to complete this well."
"I’m not available after 6 pm."
It’s not about controlling others, it’s about taking responsibility for your experience.
Boundaries Are Not Walls
Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out. It’s about keeping yourself in.
Boundaries protect your time, your focus, your energy, and your well-being. Without them, burnout and resentment take over.
Here’s the truth: you teach people how to treat you, by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.
Boundaries can sound like:
“I’m happy to help, but I need the request by Tuesday.”
“I don’t check email on weekends.”
“I can’t take on another project right now—can we prioritize?”
Advocacy Starts With Asking
We often think of advocacy as something we do for others. But self-advocacy is just as vital, and often overlooked.
If you’re not getting what you need, it might be time to ask:
Have I made my goals clear?
Have I shared what success looks like for me?
Have I told someone what support actually looks like?
You can’t expect people to show up for you if they don’t know how.
You Are Allowed to Ask
Whether it’s more time, more feedback, a raise, a pause, a new direction, or simply more respect—you are allowed to ask. In fact, you owe it to yourself to ask.
Self-advocacy is not selfish. It’s sustainable.
Final Thought: You’re Not Too Much. You’re Just Asking for Enough.
This season of transition is the perfect time to reevaluate what’s working—and what’s not.
So ask yourself:
Am I getting what I need?
If not—what’s one conversation I can have this week to move closer?
Because no one will advocate for your needs better than you.
